Swimming pool "solutions"

There's some strain in a relationship in my life. I've pondered this, analyzed it, turned it inside out and truly searched my heart to figure out where things need to change. I've been carrying a mental list of changes that could be made which would really relieve a lot of the stress. Now, if the other party would just be willing to hear my list--things would become a lot easier!
I am reminded of a scenario that occurred to my husband's family while he was growing up. For a number of years, his family lived in Indonesia while his dad worked for an oil company. Living in a foreign country brings with it a number of challenges and inconveniences. It can, at times, be quite stressful--especially for spouses. So, Dad's company began to notice that many of their employees were unhappy in their personal lives--particularly in their marriages. After many hours of deliberation, they determined that what their employees lacked as a key to happiness and marital bliss was....an in-ground swimming pool in their back yards! 

 

Most of these families lived in company housing, so the work was begun right away. Now, mind you, some of the back yards of the houses could barely fit an in-ground pool--but no matter! They were out to achieve happiness and marital resolution--even if it meant their employees would now have no place for their patio set! 

I'm not really sure the outcome of this project on marital bliss and general happiness, but it does make me think: Are their times when I forge ahead in a relationship with things that I think will improve the situation--without regard to the feelings or interest of the other party? (In case you're wondering, the answer is yes.) And like the pool--which did provide some nice refreshment in the hot Indonesian weather--are any of my ideas and solutions good, but possibly inconveniencing or frustrating?(Me, again)

Philippians 2:3-4 teaches," Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,  not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."

I guess that's the answer to my strained relationship. I need to consider the other person--and what they desire first, before I forge ahead with my own solutions. I may even need to back up a bit and correct some things. Just glad it's not a swimming pool's worth...