Lately, I've been feeling like I've fallen into a hole of my own making...sort of like I've dug my own grave. Sure, other things take a good scoop out of my time, schedule, energy--but it's my lack of time budgeting that makes those things impactful. Why do I do this to myself? Some of it has to do with the genuine enjoyment I get from being involved in many things....and admittedly, some of it comes just from my apparent inability to say "no." I think all women go through these seasons--times when there have been too many yeses and life begins to feel deep, dirty, messy and confining like, well, a grave. The word taphophobia refers to, "the fear of being buried alive." It actually translates to, "fear of graves." I think I could use some of that in my life--fear of graves of my own making.
So, where do I go from here? I can keep digging. Stupid. I can sit down and cry. Foolish (but tempting). Or I can put down my shovel, look up and ask God to lift me out of this hole I've made. Psalm 40:2 encourages me:
"He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand."
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand."
Boy, could I use that....a firm place to stand. I'm ready to put down the shovel.
2 comments:
I think you're right-- we all go through those seasons! It's hard (and sometimes quite humbling) to step back, clear our plate, and allow God to direct what ends up back in our laps. Praying for you as you navigate through the paring down process and see God's hand in His direction for you and your many talents!
The flip side of saying yes too much is saying no too much. This can lead to a grave type feeling of loneliness from the isolation,and in some a depression. And your Psalms verse would be applicable in this case too; to pull a person out of an emotional mud and set them alive and on firm God provided ground.
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