I feel it weighing me down these days...
Dread...
of what could, will go wrong or happen...of where I will go wrong...
It all feels like too much...life...chores...the endless struggle in relationships...finances...heck, just getting out of bed...
And through it all--I sense that there are those who look to me to be a savior of sorts....and that scares me most of all.
Saviors are supposed to be perfect....capable...in control...
I feel none of those things right now.
Paralyzed.
this fear of failure makes it hard to just put one foot in front of the other.
Lord! What is the answer here?
Can they not see that the one behind the curtain is not "the Great and Powerful Oz"...just a fumbling human, feet of clay...trying to keep everything in balance and terrified of messing up?
Who hung this curtain, anyway? Was it me, Lord? Was there actually a time when I wanted them all to think I could satisfy all needs...be all-sufficient...grant them all they wanted?
Please help me to point them to "the Great and Powerful God" and admit that the dog and pony show I've been putting on isn't going to do the trick for them...or me...or anyone...
Please show me how to push back this curtain and show them all the truth and not be afraid of exposure.
Actually, Lord...please tear down the curtain and let me hide my fearful heart in You. I am ready to be exposed...
