Over the weekend, we listened to a CD that could currently make it on the radio station's, "Classic from the Attic" segment. As much as I hate to admit it, most of my favorite music falls into this category, but that's beside the point....
One set of lyrics really stood out to me:
"the same sun that melts the wax can harden clay,
the same rain that drowns the rat will grow the hay,
and the same wind that knocks us down--if we lean into it
will drive our fears away..."
Usually when I get a song lyric stuck in my head, it's some idiotic phrase that just about drives me insane, but this one was different. It just played over and over and made me consider its deeper meanings for me.
This year has been full of sun, rain and wind for my family. As we have worked through our youngest daughter's serious health issues, it has sometimes felt overwhelming.
This lyric is a poignant reminder of my "choice in the matter" of the trials I'm facing. I don't get to choose my trials or how they present themselves. I do, however, get to choose the way I'm going to face them. It's my choice to be wax or clay. I'm in charge of whether a difficult circumstance leaves me soft and pliable--moving in the way God directs. Or, I can allow myself to become hard, dried out, cracked and ugly--an immovable visual of despair.
Today, I'm choosing wax. I want to remain moldable in God's hands. And like candle wax, I want to provide the fuel for the Light to keep shining.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
For my MOPS readers...
The Name Game
Cleopatra….Eleanor Roosevelt…Marie Antoinette….Julie Andrews….. I have been labeled with all these identities—that is in a game our family likes to play. We call it the name game. Each person gets a name taped to their back and then asks questions until they guess who it is correctly.
I do not enjoy this game nearly as much as the rest of my family. For me, it's too much like real life. Every time I turn around, I feel as if I have yet another identity taped to my back—and I have to ask all the right questions to figure it out. Some are easier than others. Diaper changer. I get that one…if it smells or leaks—change it! Some are harder. Bill payer. I don’t get how that one works out most of the time (although, by God’s grace, it somehow does!).
The thing about the identities stuck to me is that they all require me to do something. I am weary of doing. When do I just get to be? That’s one of the greatest things about coming to MOPS. I get to be a friend. I get to be a part of a discussion that is stimulating (with actual adults who never once pick their noses while they speak to me!). I get to be someone separate from my kids for a little while.
Maybe after I have those breaks at MOPS, I’ll be better able to figure out all my other identities. Maybe I’ll even look forward to trying out a new identity. Or maybe I will just stick with Cleopatra….imagine what I could do with that kind of power!
Cleopatra….Eleanor Roosevelt…Marie Antoinette….Julie Andrews….. I have been labeled with all these identities—that is in a game our family likes to play. We call it the name game. Each person gets a name taped to their back and then asks questions until they guess who it is correctly.
I do not enjoy this game nearly as much as the rest of my family. For me, it's too much like real life. Every time I turn around, I feel as if I have yet another identity taped to my back—and I have to ask all the right questions to figure it out. Some are easier than others. Diaper changer. I get that one…if it smells or leaks—change it! Some are harder. Bill payer. I don’t get how that one works out most of the time (although, by God’s grace, it somehow does!).
The thing about the identities stuck to me is that they all require me to do something. I am weary of doing. When do I just get to be? That’s one of the greatest things about coming to MOPS. I get to be a friend. I get to be a part of a discussion that is stimulating (with actual adults who never once pick their noses while they speak to me!). I get to be someone separate from my kids for a little while.
Maybe after I have those breaks at MOPS, I’ll be better able to figure out all my other identities. Maybe I’ll even look forward to trying out a new identity. Or maybe I will just stick with Cleopatra….imagine what I could do with that kind of power!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
if there's a problem...
Yesterday, while leaving the mall, we decided it would be a good idea for everyone to make a bathroom stop. While drying my hands, I noticed a sign on the wall that read, "If you see a problem with our restroom, please notify one of our friendly sales associates." (italics mine) Okay...but how do I know which ones are the friendly ones? It's not as if they wear a special badge making them stand out from the other sales associates. So, I'm left to guessing which are which. (I'm also now wondering if a friendly associate who gets delegated to "bathroom duty" too many times ends up demoted to a surly associate!?)
I guess this is one reason God wants us believers in Jesus to let our lights shine--so if there's a problem in our area, others will naturally know who to go to. It's like wearing a "friendly associate" badge. Trouble is, too many times, people who need help can't recognize us as the ones who have what will help them. They are left wandering around, hoping someone will care about their problem. Meanwhile, we Christians wonder why we never seem to have the opportunity to share the hope we have within us with hurting people.
It seems I need to rethink some of the ways I reflect (or don't) Christ in my daily life. Not only do I want to please God by the way I live my life, but I want to be easy to spot as a source of help. I want those in need to be able to find me....if there's a problem...
I guess this is one reason God wants us believers in Jesus to let our lights shine--so if there's a problem in our area, others will naturally know who to go to. It's like wearing a "friendly associate" badge. Trouble is, too many times, people who need help can't recognize us as the ones who have what will help them. They are left wandering around, hoping someone will care about their problem. Meanwhile, we Christians wonder why we never seem to have the opportunity to share the hope we have within us with hurting people.
It seems I need to rethink some of the ways I reflect (or don't) Christ in my daily life. Not only do I want to please God by the way I live my life, but I want to be easy to spot as a source of help. I want those in need to be able to find me....if there's a problem...
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Save it for the Shoeboxes
Today we are filling shoeboxes. Our family has been a big fan of the Operation Christmas Child shoebox ministry since 2005 when Rosalind caught a vision to organize a donation effort and filled 123 shoeboxes to send to needy kids around the world.
One of the reasons I love this service opportunity is how "hands on" and easy it is to do with kids--even very young ones. All of my kids love to pitch in and sort out the items for the boxes into categories before grabbing an empty box and selecting just the right things to put into it.
Their participation begins much earlier than Autumn. In fact, another of my favorite things about this ministry is how it has begun to teach my kids to simplify a little. All throughout the year as they receive party treat bags, free t-shirts, etc., they often opt not to keep it for themselves, but instead to tuck it away into the growing pile in our garage we keep for the filling of shoeboxes. The real joy comes in for them when as we sort the items and fill the boxes, they recognize their own donations to the cause. It's gratifying to hear them comment, "I know another kid without a lot will really enjoy this even more than I would," as they happily tuck it into a box.
I guess this is really what the Operation Christmas Child shoebox ministry does for my family--it helps us to live less selfishly. Making the choice to live selflessly has been a life-long (and never-ending) process for me. Giving my kids opportunities to practice this skill at young ages is priceless to me. Despite the fact that, just like any kids, my kids sometimes insist that they "need" this item or toy--I believe they really do see that, in comparison to so many others, they have so much. And when I see them cheerfully delay their own gratification and find real joy in giving away what could have been theirs to another child who needs so much, the gift they are giving seems as if it could hardly be contained inside a shoebox....
One of the reasons I love this service opportunity is how "hands on" and easy it is to do with kids--even very young ones. All of my kids love to pitch in and sort out the items for the boxes into categories before grabbing an empty box and selecting just the right things to put into it.
Their participation begins much earlier than Autumn. In fact, another of my favorite things about this ministry is how it has begun to teach my kids to simplify a little. All throughout the year as they receive party treat bags, free t-shirts, etc., they often opt not to keep it for themselves, but instead to tuck it away into the growing pile in our garage we keep for the filling of shoeboxes. The real joy comes in for them when as we sort the items and fill the boxes, they recognize their own donations to the cause. It's gratifying to hear them comment, "I know another kid without a lot will really enjoy this even more than I would," as they happily tuck it into a box.
I guess this is really what the Operation Christmas Child shoebox ministry does for my family--it helps us to live less selfishly. Making the choice to live selflessly has been a life-long (and never-ending) process for me. Giving my kids opportunities to practice this skill at young ages is priceless to me. Despite the fact that, just like any kids, my kids sometimes insist that they "need" this item or toy--I believe they really do see that, in comparison to so many others, they have so much. And when I see them cheerfully delay their own gratification and find real joy in giving away what could have been theirs to another child who needs so much, the gift they are giving seems as if it could hardly be contained inside a shoebox....
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
God's not fair
I imagine the title of this blog is an eye-catcher. It comes from a sermon I heard this week on God's justice. It is one of those sermons that seeps in to your heart and mind and continues to come back--like a cow chewing it's cud. For most of this week, I kept pushing it back down, but this morning, I took time to examine it and myself along side of it. It wasn't a favorable comparison.
The point of the sermon was that we humans want desperately for God to be fair and we somehow assume because the Bible says, "God is just, " we should be able to see evidence of that all over the place. In reality, we wrestle with the fact that things in the world--and in our worlds--seem terribly unfair and it appears that somehow, God isn't just.
Now we "good Christians" feel it is wrong to even think that there may be some inconsistency with what God's Word says about Him, and how we see things working out in daily life. But, the thoughts are there--haunting the back of our minds. Some take the approach that if God isn't the way He says He is, then His Word must not be true and so we doubt other attributes or promises of God. For me, it took a different course.
This morning as I turned over the concept of God's fairness vs. God's justice in my mind and heart, I saw that the pastor was right. God is just--as He says He is. But I am the one that wants Him to be fair. Fairness demands and immediate response. Fairness says, "look at this injustice happening--God, You need to do something about this--NOW!" Justice makes room for the grace and mercy of God to be recognized and embraced. As the pastor pointed out--were God fair instead of just, the apostle Paul would never have found Christ.
But within me, I still struggle. And as much as I hate to admit it--I struggle more with the perceived lack of fairness in my own life than in the greater injustices that happen in the world. The way I am treated is very important to me. When I am overlooked, hurt, inconvenienced, annoyed or put out--I feel keenly how unfairly I've been treated. Since I have an unwavering belief in God's Sovereign Control over all of life (no maverick molecules), I begin to inwardly rail against Him that He's not playing fair. After all, He could change the circumstances of my life, or make that person behave better toward me, right? Before I know it, I'm becoming more and more angry with God for not "taking care" of people and situations that have caused pain in my life.
This morning, the realization of my selfish focus hit me hard. And the truth of God's justice became crystal clear. Who am I to order God about? Who am I to expect the details of my life to be arranged to my exact liking--so I can sail through life without a care in the world? Who am I to secretly wonder if God really is just?
The proof of God's justice is in this--I am still around. In all my railing about how "unfair" things are toward me, I have generally missed seeing the amount of grace He has extended towards me. God's justice has given me time to embrace His grace and mercy in my own life. Were He fair, I wouldn't have survived the selfish actions, angry words, sinful thoughts, or disobedience for which I'm responsible.
Wow. It's a leveling moment when we come up against eternal truth like this. I asked God this morning to show me every area of my life that needs repentance. I begged His forgiveness for being so full of pride, I couldn't see the truth for what it was. I thanked Him for His justice in giving me time to come to repentance. And in it all, I praised Him that He is not fair.
The point of the sermon was that we humans want desperately for God to be fair and we somehow assume because the Bible says, "God is just, " we should be able to see evidence of that all over the place. In reality, we wrestle with the fact that things in the world--and in our worlds--seem terribly unfair and it appears that somehow, God isn't just.
Now we "good Christians" feel it is wrong to even think that there may be some inconsistency with what God's Word says about Him, and how we see things working out in daily life. But, the thoughts are there--haunting the back of our minds. Some take the approach that if God isn't the way He says He is, then His Word must not be true and so we doubt other attributes or promises of God. For me, it took a different course.
This morning as I turned over the concept of God's fairness vs. God's justice in my mind and heart, I saw that the pastor was right. God is just--as He says He is. But I am the one that wants Him to be fair. Fairness demands and immediate response. Fairness says, "look at this injustice happening--God, You need to do something about this--NOW!" Justice makes room for the grace and mercy of God to be recognized and embraced. As the pastor pointed out--were God fair instead of just, the apostle Paul would never have found Christ.
But within me, I still struggle. And as much as I hate to admit it--I struggle more with the perceived lack of fairness in my own life than in the greater injustices that happen in the world. The way I am treated is very important to me. When I am overlooked, hurt, inconvenienced, annoyed or put out--I feel keenly how unfairly I've been treated. Since I have an unwavering belief in God's Sovereign Control over all of life (no maverick molecules), I begin to inwardly rail against Him that He's not playing fair. After all, He could change the circumstances of my life, or make that person behave better toward me, right? Before I know it, I'm becoming more and more angry with God for not "taking care" of people and situations that have caused pain in my life.
This morning, the realization of my selfish focus hit me hard. And the truth of God's justice became crystal clear. Who am I to order God about? Who am I to expect the details of my life to be arranged to my exact liking--so I can sail through life without a care in the world? Who am I to secretly wonder if God really is just?
The proof of God's justice is in this--I am still around. In all my railing about how "unfair" things are toward me, I have generally missed seeing the amount of grace He has extended towards me. God's justice has given me time to embrace His grace and mercy in my own life. Were He fair, I wouldn't have survived the selfish actions, angry words, sinful thoughts, or disobedience for which I'm responsible.
Wow. It's a leveling moment when we come up against eternal truth like this. I asked God this morning to show me every area of my life that needs repentance. I begged His forgiveness for being so full of pride, I couldn't see the truth for what it was. I thanked Him for His justice in giving me time to come to repentance. And in it all, I praised Him that He is not fair.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
stranded on an island
The kids and I went to Pizza Hut today to celebrate their completion of at least 500 minutes of reading in the kcls summer reading program. They got their own personal pan pizzas and since reading 500 (or 5,000 for that matter) minutes is a no-brainer for my crowd, we thought, "Hey, free lunch!"
While waiting for the pizza, the kids busily colored their place mats. Rosalind noticed there were questions for discussion. She was intrigued by one question and posed it to the rest of us. "What one thing would you bring with you if you were stranded on an island?
I remember hashing out these types of questions myself while in school. Knowing the types of answers people generally give to this question, I was interested as to what their answers would be. Assuming they would begin to list "survival items", I was surprised by the way they read the question literally. Since the question didn't specify being on a desert island, they figured any island would do, so they picked England. At that point, they figured any of the following would be acceptable: a plane ticket home, a big bag of money, or a loaded debit card (both of the latter affording for the opportunity to enjoy their time in England and allow them to purchase a ticket home!).
Impressed with their creative interpretation of the question, I posed the desert island angle. They immediately agreed among themselves that they'd bring--a plane!
The whole conversation reminded me of a anecdote I read once about a famous individual (perhaps Mark Twain) who when presented with nearly the same question as on the place mat promptly replied he'd bring along a well-known book on shipbuilding!
It's moments like these that bring me joy in having a major role in educating my kids. They are the moments that boost my confidence and whisper encouragement to my heart. These are the moments that keep me going.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
on the job training
One of the occupational hazzards of being a Christian public speaker is that God often gives me opportunities to "practice what I preach." When I'm scheduled to speak on Menu Planning, we have a crazy week that makes me throw out my planned menu and feel a failure in that area. When I'm planning to talk about chores training, I have a week where my kids would perish in the flames before cleaning their rooms! Last week, was (another) chance to practice choosing joy as a mom. Jennifer was hospitalized for another kidney infection from August 31 to September 3rd. This time, she was on antibiotics that should have stopped this infection, but didn't. We are now facing more testing, uncertainty and a referral to a clinical psychologist who specializes in kids who have trouble with toileting issues.
I'd like to say I'm thrilled I have this opportunity--but I'm still working on that. I speak on this topic on 9/23, so that gives me about two weeks to get my act together!
So, I forge ahead....making myself choose joy. I choose to have a better perspective on my situation. The weather is lovely and cheering....our bills are paid and we have a great home and neighborhood to live in....we have a wonderful church with a supportive network and many people praying for us....Jennifer's health issues truly could be worse--they could be life-threatening...I have the distinct pleasure of staying home with my children and the privilege of schooling them at home...we live within driving distance of one of the world's best hospitals for children--with not only competent staff, but an atmosphere of care for the whole family....I have faithful friends to support and uphold me and a loving husband to walk this path along with me...I have a God who has promised to never leave me or forsake me...(I could keep going...)
This gets easier as I "count my blessings". I guess that is a huge key to choosing joy...keeping the blessings in my life at the forefront when the difficulties loom.
I think I need to look at my "on the job training" from a different perspective, too. Instead of seeing the hardships as if I am forced to grit my teeth and be happy--I need to look at them as an opportunity to practice being grateful for all the ways God has blessed my life. That's a lesson I don't mind learning...and training that will make my job so much easier.
I'd like to say I'm thrilled I have this opportunity--but I'm still working on that. I speak on this topic on 9/23, so that gives me about two weeks to get my act together!
So, I forge ahead....making myself choose joy. I choose to have a better perspective on my situation. The weather is lovely and cheering....our bills are paid and we have a great home and neighborhood to live in....we have a wonderful church with a supportive network and many people praying for us....Jennifer's health issues truly could be worse--they could be life-threatening...I have the distinct pleasure of staying home with my children and the privilege of schooling them at home...we live within driving distance of one of the world's best hospitals for children--with not only competent staff, but an atmosphere of care for the whole family....I have faithful friends to support and uphold me and a loving husband to walk this path along with me...I have a God who has promised to never leave me or forsake me...(I could keep going...)
This gets easier as I "count my blessings". I guess that is a huge key to choosing joy...keeping the blessings in my life at the forefront when the difficulties loom.
I think I need to look at my "on the job training" from a different perspective, too. Instead of seeing the hardships as if I am forced to grit my teeth and be happy--I need to look at them as an opportunity to practice being grateful for all the ways God has blessed my life. That's a lesson I don't mind learning...and training that will make my job so much easier.
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