Swimming pool "solutions"

There's some strain in a relationship in my life. I've pondered this, analyzed it, turned it inside out and truly searched my heart to figure out where things need to change. I've been carrying a mental list of changes that could be made which would really relieve a lot of the stress. Now, if the other party would just be willing to hear my list--things would become a lot easier!
I am reminded of a scenario that occurred to my husband's family while he was growing up. For a number of years, his family lived in Indonesia while his dad worked for an oil company. Living in a foreign country brings with it a number of challenges and inconveniences. It can, at times, be quite stressful--especially for spouses. So, Dad's company began to notice that many of their employees were unhappy in their personal lives--particularly in their marriages. After many hours of deliberation, they determined that what their employees lacked as a key to happiness and marital bliss was....an in-ground swimming pool in their back yards! 

 

Most of these families lived in company housing, so the work was begun right away. Now, mind you, some of the back yards of the houses could barely fit an in-ground pool--but no matter! They were out to achieve happiness and marital resolution--even if it meant their employees would now have no place for their patio set! 

I'm not really sure the outcome of this project on marital bliss and general happiness, but it does make me think: Are their times when I forge ahead in a relationship with things that I think will improve the situation--without regard to the feelings or interest of the other party? (In case you're wondering, the answer is yes.) And like the pool--which did provide some nice refreshment in the hot Indonesian weather--are any of my ideas and solutions good, but possibly inconveniencing or frustrating?(Me, again)

Philippians 2:3-4 teaches," Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,  not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."

I guess that's the answer to my strained relationship. I need to consider the other person--and what they desire first, before I forge ahead with my own solutions. I may even need to back up a bit and correct some things. Just glad it's not a swimming pool's worth...

Buried Alive

 

Lately, I've been feeling like I've fallen into a hole of my own making...sort of like I've dug my own grave. Sure, other things take a good scoop out of my time, schedule, energy--but it's my lack of time budgeting that makes those things impactful. Why do I do this to myself? Some of it has to do with the genuine enjoyment I get from being involved in many things....and admittedly, some of it comes just from my apparent inability to say "no." I think all women go through these seasons--times when there have been too many yeses and life begins to feel deep, dirty, messy and confining like, well, a grave. The word taphophobia refers to,  "the fear of being buried alive." It actually translates to, "fear of graves." I think I could use some of that in my life--fear of graves of my own making.

So, where do I go from here? I can keep digging. Stupid. I can  sit down and cry. Foolish (but tempting). Or I can put down my shovel, look up and ask God to lift me out of this hole I've made. Psalm 40:2 encourages me:

 "He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
    out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
    and gave me a firm place to stand." 

Boy, could I use that....a firm place to stand. I'm ready to put down the shovel.

Finding the "fun" in Funabmulism

Okay, all you Latin scholars--word for the day:
Funambulism.
Give up?
Here are the roots:
Funis--rope
Ambulare--to walk
That's right! Funambulism: Tightrope walking

 
Recently, I delivered short talk on this. It was, of course, metaphorical--but oh, so appropriate. Keeping balance between all the various parts of my life feels much like tightrope walking!
While prepping the talk, I did some research and came up with a few interesting thoughts...
1. Keeping centered is the most important thing with tightrope walking. One way a funambulist does this is by not looking at their feet! They keep their eyes on the end goal. Looking down at their feet would readjust their center of gravity and throw them off balance. So, I need to keep my eyes on my end goal and not focus on every step!
2. There are a number of different types of tightrope walking, but--for the most part--gravity pulls the same. A fall from 6 feet might be easier on the body than a fall from 100 feet--but the chance of falling is the same! So, I need to not compare my "tightrope" with anyone else's...we all have the same pull of gravity!
3. The lower the center of gravity--the easier it is to balance. One artist in an article I read commented that if you begin to feel off balance, it helps to raise one leg and lower yourself to your knee. This lowers your center of gravity and allows you to regain balance. So, I need to release some of my "hold" on the rope and spend more time on my knees in prayer to regain my life balance!
4. Tightrope walkers often hold their arms out or carry a long pole to help with their balance. It allows them to feel the inertia that is threatening to pull them one way or the other and to readjust their weight to keep gravity centered. You won't see a tightrope walker with their arms wrapped tightly around themselves! So, I need to keep myself open--not closed--to the things in life that press on me!
5. The same artist mentioned above also made an interesting observation about what she does, "You really have to love what you're doing-otherwise it's too hard!" So, I need to find joy in this journey--or it will feel too hard!
6. A final thought I had is that many times, you will see that--especially in training--tightrope walkers have safety nets. This allows learners to feel more confidence in knowing their failures won't be fatal! If they fall, they'll be safe--and they can get back on the rope and try again. So, I need to remember that life is a lesson and God is always there as my safety net. It doesn't mean I won't fall, but it won't be "the end" and I can get back on the rope and try again!

I think, maybe, I might just figure this life balance thing out, after all....
 

That's gonna leave a mark....

"That's gonna leave a mark!" 
 Generally referring to some sort of damage or injury-inducing scenario, it's a common phrase used in comedy sketches, movies and amusing conversation. I got to thinking it could have a second meaning as I was pondering the life of my husband's grandfather, Fred.

Quickly approaching his 90th birthday, Grandpa has seen a lot of life! A German immigrant, a WWII vet, a farmer, a husband for over 60 years,  a father of 9 (born in 10 years--all single births!), a supporter of civic causes in his town...the list really goes on. He has not only seen a lot of life--he's LIVED a lot more life than most of us hope to! 
 
As the saying goes, "There are 3 kinds of people in this world: Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened!" He very solidly belongs to the first group. I'm not sure when people began to realize that Grandpa Fred was going to leave his mark on this world--but he most definitely has! 

I truly hope a good measure of his drive and determination has made it's way into my kids' DNA. I would like to believe that one day, when they walk into a room, people will say, "That's gonna leave a mark!"

Where everybody knows your name...

You could barely call yourself a child of the 80’s if you did not watch the popular television sitcom, “Cheers.”  It was about a sports bar in Boston and how the lives of the patrons and employees played out and overlapped.

As popular as the show itself was, what I think we most looked forward to each week was hearing—and singing along to-- the theme song, Where Everybody Knows Your Name. This song has received critical acclaim and was voted as the best TV theme song of all time by both a 2011 Rolling Stones Magazine reader’s poll as well as the editors of TV Guide in 2013.  Recently, that song ran through my head at a place that should provide an even greater welcome than a sports bar—church.

While walking across the auditorium on my way to sing with the worship team that Sunday morning, I spotted a newer friend and called him by name, adding how wonderful it was to see him that morning, then proceeded to take my place among the other background vocalists. Following the service, this gentleman made straight for me and with tears in his eyes, related how much it meant to him to have me greet him by name and say I was glad to see him there that day. He also stopped my husband and shared the same with him.

See, this gentleman has been walking a tough path lately. The road of life is often rough and steep and we sometimes feel lost and alone. Does anyone know or care about the burden we may be carrying? Does anyone even know who we are?

The popular sitcom tune’s lyrics read:

Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got

Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot

Wouldn’t you like to get away…

Sometimes you wanna go…

Where everybody knows your name

And they’re always glad you came

You wanna be where you can see

The troubles are all the same.

You wanna be where everybody knows your name

And isn’t that what we all want? Isn’t it what church should be all about? Reaching out to people around us, getting to know who they are and part of their story—letting them know they matter. That’s exactly what Jesus did—what He desires of us.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could turn church into a place that is so welcoming that people couldn’t wait to get in the doors? What if church was like “Happy Hour”… a place where people felt welcome, comfortable, able to share their struggles and receive support and encouragement (that didn’t come in the form of alcohol!). I think it would please God if we took more time to make church a place, “where everybody knows your name…” because He’s into remembering things like our names.

Isaiah 49:16 reads, “Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands;…” Our names are that important to Him.

A very Brave birthday party

Anyone who knows me very well knows that I love, Love, LOVE to throw parties! I enjoy all the details of planning and carrying out an event--and kids' birthday parties are a favorite. This year, my youngest asked for a Brave themed party. Immediately, the wheels began to turn and visions of tartans and archery danced through my head! The celebration was a tremendous success! Here's how it went down:

Invitations are a fun way to generate excitement for a party. Because we are always watching our budget, I love the challenge of creating a exciting invitation for as little money as possible. Since the Brave theme lends itself to all things Scottish, I immediately thought of plaids/tartans. The invite we created fit the bill beautifully! It was not hard to find some plaid scrapbook paper at our local craft store and I found a Celtic knot stamp as a bonus! The ribbon we had already. I simply typed the invite info in a font that fit the theme and printed it onto colored paper that matched the plaid paper. After gluing the printed info onto the plaid background, I stamped the Celtic knot design for additional Scottish flair, punched two holes at the top and wove a complimentary ribbon color through the holes. 

Included in the invitation information we had decided to invite not just my daughter's friends, but also their families. Since the Brave movie focuses on clans--we thought it was fitting. Side note here: With three kids in our family having summer birthdays, we are accustomed to having a number of invitees unable to attend because of vacations, etc. This particular party was an exception--with around 50 people included in the RSVP's!
To add to the fun, we gave each guest the chance to "choose their clan." I found four different patterns of plaid sheets at the thrift store and cut sashes from each pattern. The guest got to roll a die with pieces of each pattern attached to see what clan they were part of for the day. They then took an appropriate sash and wore it for the party. Everyone really got into this--even more than I anticipated.

Dividing people up by clans made it easier to get people involved in our Highland Games where they participated in various events to earn points for their clan. The guests enjoyed trying their hand at a log toss--made using a large sheet of cardboard I got free from the local home-improvement store. My older son and I rolled it into a tube, stuffed it with blankets, sealed it and duct taped it to hold it all together. I did eventually break, but only after many had fun trying their hand at it. 

We also provided a bean bag toss style game which we called a Haggis Toss. My older daughter painted the faces of Meridah's triplet brothers and their names on it and we made bean bags out of nylon knee-high stockings filled with mixed dried beans. Note: The bean bags were cute but, despite the fact that we doubled the nylons, they were not durable enough for a party where they were being tossed by older brothers, etc. They broke open and we ended up sweeping up thousands of beans from our sports court--lest they sprout!

The highlight of our Highland Games was the archery shoot. We already owned a toy bow that simply needed re-stringing. The arrows we made with 18" lengths of 1/4" dowel with pencil erasers for the tips. For a target, we cut a large circle from cardboard with a hole in the center about 6" in diameter. After painting it white and adding some blue striping, we attached a piece of red flannel on the back behind the cut-out. By attaching it only at the top, the arrows were able to "shoot through" the hole if you made a bull's eye. The line for this attraction remained steady all evening with guests of all ages giving it a try.

Probably the thing that helped motivate the interest in the archery shoot was our special guest. One of my older daughter's schoolmates participates in competitive archery. He is an impressive young man with an ambition to one day be an Olympic archer. After demonstrating his amazing skills, he was kind enough to answer questions about what he does and his equipment. It was definitely a highlight!

No party is complete, of course, without food! Since we had such a large crowd to feed, we decided pizza was our best option, but wanted to keep within the theme as much as possible. This was answered by ordering 10 pepperoni pizzas from our local Little Caesar's Pizza and asking if they were willing to arrange the pepperoni in the shape of a target. They were actually pretty excited to get a special order to break the monotony of their jobs and had fun with filling it! Along with the pizza, we served chips and a veggie tray to complete the dinner meal.

The Birthday Girl isn't fond of the "Everyone gather round the cake, watch me and sing publicly at me" moment of parties, so she requested that we not have just a cake, but rather a sort of dessert buffet. Her older sister truly outdid herself by creating some very noteworthy desserts, including mini cupcakes (yellow cake) with powdered sugar glaze and a red-hot (looking much like to cakes the triplets in the movie are always chasing after), sugar cookies shaped into celtic knots, and bear claw cookies. We added chocolate teddy grahams and gummy bears as well.

As a final bit of fun, we lit a campfire and had s'mores supplies available. Partly as a nod to the Scottish theme and partly because I have recently discovered this as a much simpler way to do s'mores, we used fudge-striped shortbread cookies in place of chocolate and graham crackers. For those who were able to stay through this part of the party, it was a big hit!

So, all in all, we had a wonderful time celebrating our little princess in the BRAVEst way possible ;)

Freckles

(Blogging the list, post 2)

My youngest child has freckles...sprinkled across the bridge of her nose like so much cinnamon on toast. They are adorable, and they make me happy just to look at them! She's a quiet one, this blue-eyed pixie. She often goes somewhat unnoticed by others. She tends to hover around me almost virtually like my shadow. When people do notice her, it's common for them to say how much they like her freckles--a comment that always elicits a quiet smile and down-cast eyes. I think she captures hearts with those freckles and that sweet smile.
I don't know what it is about freckles that is so appealing. Many people who have them spend a lot of time hoping they will go away--even trying to be rid of them. Anyone else remember the classic, Frecklejuice? (It doesn't work, by the way...I had freckles once, too!). Wikipedia reveals that people with freckles have a lower amount of photoprotective melanin in their system, making them more vulnerable to sun exposure.
Hmmm...I feel an analogy coming on! Probably due to the health challenges that this freckled princess has weathered, I think I've always felt her vulnerability more keenly. No one in our family has needed to be quite as brave as she in what she has had to face in her short life. And the evidences of her vulnerability are still visible in many ways...a bit like freckles--sprinkled across her life. But, I also see how she has an overcoming spirit. I admire her strength, in fact.
One day, it's likely the freckles across her nose will fade away, like mine did. And every day, I see her strength growing and her vulnerability fading. But for now, I will enjoy watching the evidence of her overcoming...and those nose freckles, too. Yep, I know she captures hearts with that sweet, freckled smile. She sure has captured mine!